Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize