shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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