She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My penis needs a shock collar
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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