Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
