fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize