I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Im part way to drunk.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
