I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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