My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you had me at cake vodka
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
