none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
