Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize