no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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