I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
