So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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