i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
