We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize