Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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