I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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