Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
