Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
