um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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