We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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