Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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