We won't sleep together?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
