maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
