Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
