Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
