thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
