erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
