So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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