planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We talked him into tasing himself.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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