Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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