is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
