i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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