I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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