Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize
