my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
