Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
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