did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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