think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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