I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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