I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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