So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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