I want to have your abortion
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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