I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
