Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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