Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Is it penis luge time yet?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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