I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize