If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
