Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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