Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
