Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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