If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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