I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I am naked and annoyed.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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