i just had sex bonerless
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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