Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i believe in u and ur pee
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
