y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
