But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
