is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
