so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
