Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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