PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
