my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
please come you make the beer taste better
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize