hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There r osticjed everywhere
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
